Dear Michelle: Advice from a Frog

Dear Michelle---

I am writing to you in hopes that you can help me figure out why I am having such a hard time making friends?

I am almost 32 years old, a mother of two girls and married. I work outside the home, am a member of a large church as well as a gym. I just don’t seem to have any CLOSE friends. I have a lot of people that I would consider good acquaintances, but no one to hang out with and just “do stuff.”

Is there something wrong with me? Am I trying too hard? What can I do differently to increase my closeness to people?

Thank you for your time!

Lonely in New Kensington, PA


Dear Lonely,

A lonely frog, desperate to have a friend, telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what her future had in store. Her personal psychic advises her, “You are going to meet someone fun, energetic and intelligent who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet this person, at church, at work, or at the gym?” “No” says the psychic, “In a Biology class.”

Like the sweet little frog, it’s not always a great idea to “hang out with and do stuff” with just anybody. But, your handwriting shows that you may be pushing people away.

You could have put a comma after you wrote “Dear Michelle” but you placed a slash. This slash says “stay an arm’s length away from me.”

Also, if you look at the sentence “Am I trying too hard?” you will notice that the word “too” is too, too small. Your miniscule “too” shows that subconsciously you may feel that you are really not trying hard enough.

If you want to make friends, you need to let down your guard a little, and get to know the people around you. Next time you are talking with an acquaintance, take the initiative and invite that person to do something with you (go on a walk or meet for coffee). As the frog said to the princess, “Take a leap!” You may be surprised by the interesting friends you’ll make!

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